ness- suffix which makes something a noun
mon- slang term for man
ster- denotating a person having a particular quality
cow- mammal who produces milk to its young and the masses
boys- male children
ass- a buttocks; a donkey
i- me or you depending on the point of view
nation- group of people under one government rule
con- to trick someone into doing something
nectar- just because it tastes sweet
tion- and we're forming more nouns who have certain -sters
I wrote this.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Home
It's funny how even the wording of blogger.com is funny. When I signed in it said I was home.
Right now I do not have a home. It's scary, but thrilling.
Right Now I don't even have a job. It's freedom, but pending doom.
My best option?
Idk.
I feel like I want something solid in my life right now. THat is why I like joe again. He is a solid fantasy. Something that is completely intangible except for in my mind. I want to do so many things with my life. But I want a job first. But I want a home first. But I want blah blah blah. So part of the american culture is saying that I should just drop everything and do it. Just go for your dreams. Frankly my dreams are irrealistic. I meant to spell it that way too.
Unfortunately. I do not know if I actually like joe or I am going through so many changes that he is just a solid part of my life. It's probably one of those many foggy areas I have when it comes to interactions with other people.
I think that I spend too much time thinking that people are deep and have ulterior motives because I know that I do and this is why I project these things onto others. Nothing is ever simple with me. I think that makes me a bit neurotic. Like even right now I am over analyzing the simplicity of a phrase that sifted into my head, "I like to write" My over analysis says, be a writer, no you shouldn't you are not good enough, yes you are, when you write, if you can even get through this page. No one wants to read it anyway. So you're just writing for you, oh how cliche. This internal dialogue persistently nags at me like a cat loves you right before you are about to feed her. And she loves you so much, she rubs your leg and mews the sweetest mews until she gets old and can't mew anymore she just has a 'gravel' voice, but she will always have those sweet eyes looking up at you until she goes blind, but when she goes blind she isn't even hungry anymore because she is going to die anyway. That's what this nagging is in my head. Because I have this inner voice, I assume everyone does. So I don't like talking to people a lot because of the inner dialogue and ulterior motives. I can't just think someone is simple.
I have warts. 1 on my hand and I found another on my foot. FUCK> HPV virus. I am tainted and gross now. I want them to go away. Grr. Nothing gets rid of them so I am trying duct tape.
Wish me luck and less thought.
Right now I do not have a home. It's scary, but thrilling.
Right Now I don't even have a job. It's freedom, but pending doom.
My best option?
Idk.
I feel like I want something solid in my life right now. THat is why I like joe again. He is a solid fantasy. Something that is completely intangible except for in my mind. I want to do so many things with my life. But I want a job first. But I want a home first. But I want blah blah blah. So part of the american culture is saying that I should just drop everything and do it. Just go for your dreams. Frankly my dreams are irrealistic. I meant to spell it that way too.
Unfortunately. I do not know if I actually like joe or I am going through so many changes that he is just a solid part of my life. It's probably one of those many foggy areas I have when it comes to interactions with other people.
I think that I spend too much time thinking that people are deep and have ulterior motives because I know that I do and this is why I project these things onto others. Nothing is ever simple with me. I think that makes me a bit neurotic. Like even right now I am over analyzing the simplicity of a phrase that sifted into my head, "I like to write" My over analysis says, be a writer, no you shouldn't you are not good enough, yes you are, when you write, if you can even get through this page. No one wants to read it anyway. So you're just writing for you, oh how cliche. This internal dialogue persistently nags at me like a cat loves you right before you are about to feed her. And she loves you so much, she rubs your leg and mews the sweetest mews until she gets old and can't mew anymore she just has a 'gravel' voice, but she will always have those sweet eyes looking up at you until she goes blind, but when she goes blind she isn't even hungry anymore because she is going to die anyway. That's what this nagging is in my head. Because I have this inner voice, I assume everyone does. So I don't like talking to people a lot because of the inner dialogue and ulterior motives. I can't just think someone is simple.
I have warts. 1 on my hand and I found another on my foot. FUCK> HPV virus. I am tainted and gross now. I want them to go away. Grr. Nothing gets rid of them so I am trying duct tape.
Wish me luck and less thought.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Low
I have feelings of low self worth right now.
I am a good person, but I don't leave the house.
I don't leave the house because I don't feel worth it.
I don't feel worth it because I don't leave the house.
It is kind of this vicious cycle.
The outside world could harm me very badly.
Therefore I am unwilling to leave the house.
But inside the house is slowly hurting me by damaging
My self worth.
The internet is not helping my self worth either.
I look for jobs.
Apply
Send resume
Send cover letter.
Send my hope.
Only to not here back from anyone.
Like I don't exist even on the internet.
Which is kind of funny because there is so much on here nowadays.
That I quite literally don't exist.
Only to me
And I am unwilling to even share anything else with anyone.
It seems like I like to start a new line whenever I feel like it. This makes for a "poem"
I shouldn't even categorize this as a poem.
It's just a bunch of babble where I am telling and not SHOWing
Let me try to show you.
Picture me as a creature with a long tail, tiny ears, little hands and quick.
I search for food.
I search and search and search.
I might even find this food.
So I find this food and eat it.
This is my life and I am content.
Problem is I am not just an animal because I have emotions.
Sure we have a million years of evolution and we are still animals sylvia,
but we have all these emotions and don't know what to do with them.
We decided we had to communicate.
This expression led to more things than i would like to handle being
A small creature with a long tail, tiny ears, little hands and quick.
I have no qualities to live how I can express that I want to live.
Let's delve further.
I have the potential and qualities, but I don't have the means of obtaining.
a. money
b. my thoughts
c. my inherent survival need is not being fulfilled.
Shit. I need to get my needs fulfilled.
I am a good person, but I don't leave the house.
I don't leave the house because I don't feel worth it.
I don't feel worth it because I don't leave the house.
It is kind of this vicious cycle.
The outside world could harm me very badly.
Therefore I am unwilling to leave the house.
But inside the house is slowly hurting me by damaging
My self worth.
The internet is not helping my self worth either.
I look for jobs.
Apply
Send resume
Send cover letter.
Send my hope.
Only to not here back from anyone.
Like I don't exist even on the internet.
Which is kind of funny because there is so much on here nowadays.
That I quite literally don't exist.
Only to me
And I am unwilling to even share anything else with anyone.
It seems like I like to start a new line whenever I feel like it. This makes for a "poem"
I shouldn't even categorize this as a poem.
It's just a bunch of babble where I am telling and not SHOWing
Let me try to show you.
Picture me as a creature with a long tail, tiny ears, little hands and quick.
I search for food.
I search and search and search.
I might even find this food.
So I find this food and eat it.
This is my life and I am content.
Problem is I am not just an animal because I have emotions.
Sure we have a million years of evolution and we are still animals sylvia,
but we have all these emotions and don't know what to do with them.
We decided we had to communicate.
This expression led to more things than i would like to handle being
A small creature with a long tail, tiny ears, little hands and quick.
I have no qualities to live how I can express that I want to live.
Let's delve further.
I have the potential and qualities, but I don't have the means of obtaining.
a. money
b. my thoughts
c. my inherent survival need is not being fulfilled.
Shit. I need to get my needs fulfilled.
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